


home (is wherever i’m with you)

by allthedreamersarewaking



Series: to build a home [1]
Category: Dare Me (TV 2019), Dare Me - Megan Abbott
Genre: Addy and Beth as Parents, Addy and Beth as adults, Alternate Universe, Doctor!Addy, Established Relationship, F/F, Future Fic, Lawyer!Beth, Long-Term Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28398246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthedreamersarewaking/pseuds/allthedreamersarewaking
Summary: Years ago, Beth and Addy moved to California to go to UCLA. Addy went to medical school and Beth got her J.D. Now, they’re in their thirties, are married and have a baby daughter, Jada. When Beth gets a surprising phone call from her mom, she’s taken aback; it’s been so long since they’ve seen each other.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Series: to build a home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079852
Kudos: 21





	home (is wherever i’m with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone!  
> So this is the first part of a new story I'm thinking of writing after I complete 'linger'. I've been planning this since April (I know, I work slow, I'm sorry). I probably won't continue this one until I've finished 'linger'. This is a taster, so to speak.  
> Happy holidays for those who celebrate!

Halfway through a peaceful slumber, Addy Hanlon can just about hear the fussy noises coming from her baby. The early morning sun cracks through the curtains and rays of light brighten up the bedroom. She opens her eyes and reaches for the baby monitor on the bedside table. It confirms her suspicions as she looks at the live feed and hears the gurgling of her daughter Jada. Addy sees her squirming inside the crib and groans because she knows her daughter’s movements will lead to loud cries. The alarm clock beside the monitor reads six forty-four, and Addy knows Jada is up for real.

Looking over her shoulder, she finds her wife, Beth, fast asleep and curled into Addy’s back. Addy gently picks up Beth’s arm from around her midsection and climbs out of the covers. She places the blanket over Beth and makes sure she is still sleeping. She opens the master bedroom door and closes it quietly, careful not to wake Beth. With the baby monitor still in hand, she ventures toward the nursery. As she reaches the other side of the landing, she can hear Jada’s fussiness turn into cries.

She opens the door to the nursery to find Jada squirming around on her back in the cot. Jada whimpers and tries to crane her head in search of her mother. Addy strides towards the bassinet. Jada has her fist in her mouth, and her wide brown eyes are continuously staring at Addy. Though she is very much tired, Addy can't help but look into the crib holding her baby - yes, her and Beth’s baby - and feel her chest swell with tenderness. 

At five months old, Beth and Addy are in constant shock at how big Jada has gotten since she was born. 

“Shh, Mommy’s here,” Addy coos as she reaches into the bassinet and lifts her daughter into her arms. She presses a kiss to her chubby cheek and strokes her short, soft curls. Addy spots her daughter’s soother at the other end of the cot. Addy grabs the pacifier and chuckles as she wonders how it could have gotten so far from Jada’s mouth.

“We need to put a clip on this, baby,” she whispers gently. She puts the soother in Jada’s mouth, and she sucks enthusiastically. Jada sticks out a pudgy hand, and tries to reach for Addy’s hair, but it’s in a bun atop her head. She begrudgingly settles for playing with Addy's necklace, one Beth had gifted her years ago. With Jada on her hip, Addy leaves the nursery and heads for the kitchen.

She stifles a yawn, “Let’s get breakfast and let your Mama sleep in.”

***

It’s just after eleven when Beth stirs. She feels the coolness of the bed due to Addy's absence beside her. She tries to recall the last time she was able to sleep in. It had to have been before she went to law school, before she started working at the law firm, and certainly before Jada was born. She hears a squeal from Jada coming from downstairs and decides it’s time to get up. She yawns and stretches, earning a few clicking sounds from her body. 

Beth grabs her robe from the vanity chair and throws it on. She draws open the curtains, and the sunbeams illuminate the master bedroom. The morning light catches on the silver frame on the table beneath the window. The frame holds a picture of her family: Addy and Beth on their living room sofa, all smiles, cradling a tiny, newborn Jada. 

The family picture is one of many spread throughout the house, but this one is different because it’s the first official one of the three together - the first one of them out of the hospital. Faith, Addy’s mom, had taken the picture. She stayed with them the first week they took Jada home from the hospital.

Beth smiles as she recalls the memory of them bringing Jada home for the first time. Faith had helped them a lot when they came home from the hospital. She had made sure there was dinner on the table after a long day of taking care of the baby, made sure the laundry was done and the house didn’t look like a bomb had gone off.

Beth was determined to be a good mom, as she herself didn’t have the best childhood. When Addy brought up the idea of children, Beth had felt uncertainty wash over her. Beth brought up her defences; she didn’t know the first thing about being a mom. She had wondered how the hell she could be a good parent when hers were nothing of the sort, but Addy, with her patience and reassurance, had disarmed her. 

She always had. 

It helped a lot, but it was only when Jada was born, wiped down and wrapped in a bundle, Beth truly felt there was a chance that being a parent was worth every challenge. Jada, much like Addy, had broken into Beth’s heart and made a home there.

And Beth would let them do it all over again.

Her work phone rings, which isn’t uncommon for a lawyer of Beth’s status, and she’s used to it ringing out of her office hours. But what is abnormal is the area code; it’s from out of state. She accepts the call anyway.

“Hello?”

“Bethie,” the voice says. Beth gets a light-headed feeling as the familiar voice passes through the receiver. 

“How did you get this number?” Beth demands. It comes out harsher than she thought. Beth can’t help it. _I’m allowed to be mad_ , she thinks.

“Your old mom can use the internet, you know,” Her mother, Lana, says defensively. Beth resists the urge to scream.

Years ago, Beth and Addy had moved to California to go to USC for graduate school. Once they graduated, Addy did her residency at the children’s hospital in Los Angeles, and Beth had gotten a job at a well-known law firm nearby in Downtown L.A.. Beth remembered writing down her contact details on her first day and posing for the professional picture the following week. _It’s for the website_ , her boss said. She regrets it now, because this is what it had led to: her mom finding her number.

“What do you want?” Beth huffs. She assumes her mom wants money and mentally guesses how much she wants. She has the money, that's not the issue. But it's been so long since Beth has seen her mom, and she definitely didn't leave on the best of terms. Still, Beth sends her money now and then, but that’s all. She never asks how she is or what she’s up to because, to be honest, Beth doesn’t want to know. 

She begins to look around the room for her purse as she assumes that's what her mom wants. There’s a pause from Lana, and then:

“When can I visit?” Lana asks.

Beth’s face contorts into a grimaces at the idea of her mother coming to see her after all this time. Beth would rather give Lana the money and be done with it.

She is drawn back into the conversation when her mom calls her name. She realizes she hasn’t responded and clears her throat. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I’ve already booked a flight,” Her mom replies innocently.

Beth groans because _this_ is what she’d been hoping against. She feels like a teenager again, having to put up a barricade because she knows what will happen if she lets down her walls. 

Seeing her mom again would be reopening old wounds - wounds that Beth has only recently learned to live with. Her hurt bubbles to the surface as she remembers the many times she’d been let down by her parents throughout her childhood. Her father, too preoccupied and her mother, too inebriated to hold an actual conversation. Beth had made a promise to herself that she'd never let that happen to her children.

Not for the first time that day, she thinks back to the moment Jada was born. She remembers being handed the scissors by the doctor and severing the cord between Addy and Jada. Faith was there but Lana wasn’t and, while Faith was extremely supportive, it wasn’t the _same_. Her parents were supposed to be there for the birth of her child, but they weren’t. She had noticed the absence of her parents in the room, and yes, she could admit, it stung.

Of course, none of her parents know that Beth has a daughter. But that doesn’t stop Beth’s heart from aching. 

Beth closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “When do you get in?”

“Monday morning.”

Beth’s eyebrows shoot up. “And you’re telling me now? Today’s Friday.”

The line is quiet.

Beth sighs, “How long are you staying?”

“It’s an open return ticket.”

 _Great_ , Beth thinks. 

“Text me the details,” Beth says curtly.

And with that, Beth hangs up. 

She briefly thinks about getting a new number, but deems it pointless. She’d have to notify all of her clients of her new details. 

_Fuck it_ , she thinks. 

Beth takes off the robe and replaces it on the back of the vanity chair. It’s her first day off in a long time and she is intent on having a good day.

She heads toward the ensuite to get ready for the day ahead.

***

Addy suddenly gets a whiff of a stinky diaper and scrunches up her nose. “Someone needs a diaper change,” she mutters underneath her breath. 

Jada lies on her back on her playmat, mesmerized as she tries to reach for the toys dangling above. Addy stands up from her yoga mat and does a final tree pose. She picks up Jada and takes her to her changing table, where she pops open Jada’s babygrow. As Beth pads down the stairs, Jada cranes her neck in response to the noise.

Beth saunters over and blows a raspberry on Jada’s stomach, which produces a giggle from Jada. “Hey.”

“There’s a fresh pot of coffee,” Addy says, nodding to the percolator on the kitchen island. “Was that a client?”

Beth gives her a quizzical look.

“On the phone,” Addy explains, swiftly putting a clean diaper on Jada. 

Beth didn’t realize how loud she shouted at her mom. During her shower, she debated on whether to tell Addy about the unexpected phone call she had with her mom that morning. Beth decided against it - nothing had come of her conversation with her mom. 

She runs her thumb over her wedding ring and bites her lip. She goes through to the kitchen to get a mug from the cupboard and pours herself a cup of coffee. 

“Yeah,” Beth says. “The husband just decided to let his lawyer know he has a prenup.” Lies and lies. Pieces of her past were slowly catching up to her again.

“What a dick,” Addy calls from the other room. 

“Yeah.”

She walks back into the living room with her drink and is thankful that Addy is still at the changing table with her back to Beth. 

“I'm gonna take a nap,” Addy says over a muffled yawn as she finishes changing Jada. “Jada was up at midnight and didn’t go back down until two. She just wanted to play with my necklace.” 

“Like you need an excuse to have a nap,” Beth teases over the rim of her mug.

“The books say I should be asleep whenever Jada is,” Addy says matter-of-factly.

“She’s just too cute for her own good.”

As if she understands, Jada flashes a gummy smile at her mom. As Addy goes upstairs, Beth puts down her coffee and walks over to the changing table to pick up her daughter. She places small kisses on Jada’s soft, dark hair and winces when Jada tugs at her hair. She’s always shocked at the strength a fifteen pound baby has.

“My fault for forgetting to put my hair up.”

Beth feels Jada squirm against her shoulder and gently rubs her back to soothe her. Jada’s mouth forms a big “O” as she yawns and Beth notices her eyelids redden. She cradles Jada against her chest as she rocks her slowly. She places Jada’s pacifier in her mouth and her eyes begin to flutter shut.

Despite her profound fears of being a mom, Beth knows that she’s actually good at it. And sometimes, because of her own parents, Beth is still stunned because for so long, she’d been convinced that she wouldn’t be able to do anything like this. She’s capable of taking care of this small person. And really, she knew it from the moment Jada was born. 

When she was growing up, love was something given to Beth conditionally, something to vie for, something she had to work for. 

She still has to remind herself how far she has come from all those years ago.

She’s fiercely protective of the life she’s built with Addy away from Sutton Grove, of the family they're growing. There were ups and downs along the way, but they worked for everything they have. Seeing her would be taking a step back into her miserable past. Why engage with old ghosts? Beth had worked so hard to heal her wounds and find some sort of tranquility. Beth remembers all the times she needed a parent. 

But deep down, Beth knows that she’s _missed_ her mom - the mom Lana used to be, the mom who remembered to buy groceries and didn’t have such a cynical outlook on life. 

Jada’s soft snores jostle Beth from her reverie, and she lowers Jada into her day cot. She presses a kiss to her forehead and knows she will never want to miss out on something so precious.

All she ever wanted was a stable home life, and in a way, she finally has.

She sighs as she rubs her temples and looks down at her sleeping daughter.

Seeing her mom again will take a lot of strength. 

But then again, she never thought anything would be easy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
